are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
