we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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