my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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