its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
