Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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