I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
