I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
