so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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