Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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