Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
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answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
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Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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