Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
