At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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