Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
