If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
