watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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