I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
