k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
