just survived the first fart of the relationship.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
