We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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