how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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