It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
