I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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