Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well I just put wine in my tea
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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