i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
