it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
