Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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