I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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