When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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