You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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