R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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