Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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