We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
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apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
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you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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