It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
