I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
