dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
