Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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