you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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