Can i not drive my cunt home
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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