I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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