Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
