Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
