Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
