Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I deserve this hangover.
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