hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
