And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
