Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
high people should be assigned attendants
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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