I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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