Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
