i'm lost and i look like a hooker
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
