Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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