is your mom at the bar?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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