Umm I'm too high to move.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
