One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
