I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
