Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
