I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I cannot find my penis.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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