i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
