I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
