i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
