I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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